This year, I’ve been trying to remain steadfast in some of the commitments that I’ve made. I have always been the person to start off strong, and then for some reason, just fall off! It’s becoming such a problem that I was really starting to pass judgment on myself. I would think: how can I encourage other people to do something, anything.. “take the first step”, I’d say. But it turns out that typically that was all I was doing. I’m an awesome FIRST STEPPER!! It’s the next 10-12 steps that I had the problem with. Such poor follow-thru translated into me not being a woman of my word. This wasn’t working! I’d set goals, have amazing plans, wonderful ideas to walk out, but months, years later, I saw nothing come of them. I needed a new strategy.
Well, a while ago, my friend and I had a conversation about being prayer partners and how sometimes it is good to have someone to help hold you accountable. I recently saw the movie Courageous, which also encourages and supports the theory of accountability. It’s not just you out there alone–the LAST WOMAN STANDING—feeling sorrowful and overwhelmed with your commitments, but there are others who’ve been put in place, chosen by you, (or those who’ve volunteered! LOL!) to help you live-out that commitment. I’ve found oftentimes accountability helps in discussions about spiritual purity and strengthening one’s faith through prayer.. but the importance of accountability extends more in our day-to-day walk than we think! This year, I’ve committed to always having a support system—IN EVERYTHING! I intend to surround myself with like-minded individuals to make sure what I need to get done this year, really gets done!
My accountability groups thus far:
@ CHURCH: I have the women from the shelter who ask me.. okay hon, when are you coming back?
@Home: I have my sister and brother to ask me if I’ve taken care of things applying to my lifestyle and budget.
In my hobbies: I have people at my church and job who love to see what I’m working on and encourage me to make things for them, or to try a new sewing pattern that they’ve tried.
In my spiritual walk: I have friends & family, specific people, who encourage me to pray, meditate, and fast when something is wrong. And give Thanks and Praise, when God moves on my behalf concerning these things.
EVERYWHERE/EVERYDAY: positive people encourage joy and happiness, even if its just someone who passes by and asks to see my smile! When I’m down, I stay close to them on those days so their joy can rub off! Want positivity: FIND A POSITIVE PERSON!
My circle of women and men.. (mostly women, of course) help keep me focused on whats important. (I think that Men should have a support group that consists mostly of men as well! And no, I’m not saying you can’t have women supporting men, [women support your husbands/brothers sons! This is your duty!!) But when it comes to like-mindedness… and getting partners that are really going to help you along, you need someone who can relate! And well, as they say.. some things only a woman [or man] would understand!! 🙂
Be meticulous about who you unite with! This requires subjection of your associates. And most people we know are not all-purpose friends. People have different things they’re good at. If your friend who you always go out to eat with does not want to diet, then why would you allow them to be your accountability partner for your new workout regimen? That’s a setback! LOL! And its not an insult to them, but realistically, when I let people in my inner circle who don’t have the intentions that I have, those whose mindset are far from mine.. two things will happen.. EITHER 1) I’ll draw them closer to my mindset, or 2) they will draw me closer to theirs. Unfortunately the latter usually takes place, and this year.. along with every upcoming year: I JUST CAN’T AFFORD IT! We lose a lot of ground when this happens.
This year, I encourage you to find someone who can help you help yourself.
Want to run a marathon? Join a running group! ( Shout out to Black Girls RUN- Charlotte!!).. Want to learn to swim?.. join a beginning swim class. ALL Dieter’s UNITE… join and aerobics team and partner with 2 people, that way if one person isn’t going to show up, you still have another accountability partner that can say “Hey, we’re doing this.. NO EXCUSES!” Want to go back to school? Find someone that can give you tips on how to do that. Find the encouraging person that also wants to see a better you. Why waste time telling your “dreams” and “ideas” to people who seem to always talk you out of them! They aren’t on your team!! ** Note: sometimes you’ll find that family is the biggest culprit in giving you every excuse as to why you shouldn’t do something good! If this applies to you and your family, well, make sure you find some amazing friends to speak life over you and what you want!***Seriously! Family can’t always be the first choice for everything. Find new teammates that WANT THE BOTH OF YOU TO WIN! This year is the year! And you don’t have to face your new challenges alone. Accountability partners/ support systems/ TEAMMATES ARE THE WAY TO GO!
Let’s do this TOGETHER!
must say i really enjoyed that…and its believe its always a blessing to be reminded of the importance of fellowshiping with like minded people. And yes big ups to black girls run, one the females who started that actually use to work with me at ETV. (well she worked at the regional station in Rock Hill. But that just shows what tow peoples dedication and vision can do to a multitude of people. Thanks again for sharing
Thanks Titus for reading! I think its easy to assume that you’re okay, when you have a network of “friends” around, but it takes a lot of consideration to determine if those friends have your best interest at heart. As a young woman, I’ve meet a lot of people that I associated with only to find that when I needed them, i couldn’t count on them! Women who i’d let in my circle and somehow i lost myself in who they were.. tried to be someone similar to them, and not being genuinely who i was. The association/partnership was surface-level/topical and when I fell off, they could care less b/c it wasn’t really their problem! 😦 And even in terms of relationships with men…We see women doing this as well, losing themselves in relationships ( because they let another’s interests/intentions/goals overshadow their own!) . and on a personal note: I think on some level, we (all men & women in relationships) compete in a lot of things. And i don’t know if you ever felt it, but I think the support that should have been there is undercut by our competitive nature. The desire for one of us to top the other.. in everything. and relationships suffer because of this. There is a healty way to do it, but most of us, myself especially, miss the mark. The good intentions to hold someone accountable can sometimes hurt that person when they feel worse after your admonishment of them NOT DOING what they said they were going to do. It becomes “a judgement” that tears down, instead of an encouraging reminder that should be building up! Being an accountability partner takes work, and there is a proper way to do it! I’m hoping those that i’ve picked on my team help get me where God would have me— a better, stronger, more faithful KRYSTAL! Thanks again for reading!