Calling my bluff…

Ruth NEVER waited.

This is the only thing that plays in my head when I hear a fellow single Christian woman say she’s wating on her BOAZ.It’s the only thing I’ve been hearing in my head for the last couple days after a co-worker explained to me that all I am “is talk”.

When she said it, she hurt my feelings, I was a bit sour, but unfortunately it was the truth.

You see, for too long I’ve made the declaring announcement that I’m going to start dating. I’ve encouraged other single woman to go out and make themselves available. I mean, how can ADAM/SOLOMON/BOAZ… find you if you are stuck at work all the time?

This is what I’ve been saying. Spouting “wisdom” about the opposite sex, all the while being the woman who hasn’t had a serious relationship in YEARS… and I literally mean YEARS.

So the other day, when a friend was telling me that she had been invited to a get-together and thought I should go along, I was shocked in her looking me dead in my face after not accepting her invitation, and she says: “See, I knew you weren’t serious  about finding a man”….

Huh, really? Me, not be serious? Do you know how serious it is that I haven’t had a decent dinner-date in well over 5 years… I mean, I’ve  only been single for 4 years, but that last year with my ex should have never really happened if you know what I mean. We’d let that cat drag long enough and the final 12 months was just a fear of moving on for the both of us. Anyhoo…LOL!

Later that evening, while I’m alone, and tired of being alone, washing dishes and having my first ever full glass of wine. I think to myself—I wouldn’t have to force down disgusiting cheap wine, that I know I can’t stand if I made reasonable attempts at meeting people. I think about all the women that I know who are of the faith, and have no one to share their lives with. I think about how amazing they are. They are just like me. They love the Lord with all their hearts, love the service that they give to their local churches, love their children, family, careers, etc… yet have not been  given a living, breathing, smiling, man espoused to be a fleshly example of God’s love for them. And unless you are a Christian, single woman who desires to be married, you probably can’t understand the feelings that come from this paramount situation. You don’t understand how the love of God can overflow so abundantly, that you cannot imagine any LIVING human being ever evoking a similar level of completeness. (As we all know, no one will ever, ever love us the way that God loves us, but if we chose, what I’d like to call “the most God-like love” for ourselves in our Other Half, then I’m sure, we’ll get awfully close!)

So its Friday night [last night]. I’m leaving work. And someone puts a bug in my ear that there’s a networking event that could potentially be something that I’m interested in. Networking? Event? on a Friday night? How does this help me? Will there be decent, attractive guys? its it worth my time?

These are the typically initial questions I ask when I’m invited to something.

As I gamble with the idea of going, my follow up analysis that’s done in my head consists of other not-as-easy deal-breakers that I must also review. They are far and random, but the most important still remain the same. ***I must admit the review that what I do is thorough-enough to usually talk myself out of going anywhere, but a few circumstances that I question are:

1) the invitation extended;

2) the character of the actual person who is making the invitation;

3) the time and location of said invitation;

4) the substantial-ness of the other attendees;

5) will I be going alone?;  and

6) whether a not a dress and heels will be required

(yes, this is one of those deal-breakers for me! I never wear a heel unless I have to! Not because I don’t like them or anything … well, sometimes I don’t like them… but this is mainly about the fact that comfort for me is number one and I’ve recently discovered that the beauty of my feet 10 years ago before I started wearing heels 3-4xs/week is no longer there. And my rationale of course, is  that if I have to sacrifice my feet for a few hours, then by golly, whomever is present at these events better be worth it!! Seriously, who wants to have busted feet at 50 and still finding herself single????? Not my idea of cute! So far from it!

Long story short, I did go to the event! Shocked myself because I went alone! Stayed almost 40 minutes so I was quite proud of my efforts! And to be honest I would have stayed longer if the A/C in the joint was putting out suitable cool air for 103-degree heat. (SIDE NOTE: I absolutely, positively abhor over 65-degree weather!!!) But it seemed that at some point that day, the A/C figured it was too hot for it to be working so it quit. And in my experience, me, alone, a little nervous, in  a room full of strangers, with heels on, in a cute, stylish, yet un-breathable poly-blend outfit just doesn’t work out!! LOL!  So I only stayed as long as I thought duly required.

It wasn’t an amazing evening. I didn’t meet any potential suitors. But I put on clothes and left my apartment in order to properly position myself to meet… him.

I’m not sure if he’s in my city.. not sure if he’s in my state… but I do know one thing, RUTH NEVER WAITED. She took the first step, and did it rather BOLDLY, so I must contend, from here on out, so should I.

© 2012 K.DeMarie

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