When I was 18 years old I met someone who was spiritually stronger than me. Initially it was okay, but the reality quickly set in that we had two different relationship objectives and whoever was the strongest would eventually win. After years of dating me (and really doing everything the wrong way), he came to me one night and said that he “had never been so convicted in his life”. Things changed immediately after that. Our relationship was one of those things.
I write under the name Eve Un-Yoked not only as an adage to my singleness, but also as a reminder of 2Corinthians 6:14 that says: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness”.
When you meditate on verse 14 in the backdrop of relationships, you realize that it’s a very depressing scripture. The reality is, if both parties aren’t on the same page, going the same way, with the same objectives & methods to getting there, then whoever is lacking is unrighteous. Whoever lacking is darkness. And who in their right mind wants to be darkness?
No one does.
In one chapter of Amos the prophet reminds us of the ultimate relationship with God by asking: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” He checks the Israelites about their intention within God’s ultimate plan. You see, things were getting heated and God had to remind His people that they weren’t holding up their end of the deal. How can we get where we’re going if you’re refusing to follow my lead?
[KRYSTAL TRANSLATION HERE: Hey guys, you’re refusing the agenda we agreed upon before we got started. My plans cannot prevail because you keep bucking the system. YOU are the weakest link!!]
(Whether professional, familial, or romantic): “How can two walk together except they agree”
I am single.
I don’t know a man who has wholeheartedly purposed to pursue me according to God’s standards. In truth, I have never been a woman who has been consistent in upholding God’s standards. I fail repeatedly (hence the relationship flashback mentioned previously).
I am not sure what singleness should be. I have yet to find “dating” in God’s word.
Every day I pray about not losing ground. Every day I pray about not being a stumbling block to someone. Sadly, I have been that girl before.
What I am learning is that sometimes in relationships when both of you are LOST and you DISAGREE— you end up making no progress whatsoever. You spend weeks, months, years trying to figure out where the relationship is, you question what you want to do next, how you’re going to make it work. But in the end you get NOWHERE. You reflect on the time spent with that person and you see very little progress. It’s hurtful. It’s disappointing. And even sometimes causes anger. But that dissention is validation of Amos 3:3 and 2Corinthians 6:14.
The Takeaway: You cannot force things to be RIGHT when you’re doing things WRONG.
I know so many single women who are 50 years and older. It scares me sometimes because I wonder why they never married. I wonder what happened, what hurts, what disappointments, what actions they took with men that never manifested into a relationship that God could bless.
Answers I’ll probably never know.
Today I understand that I have to be accountable to my half of the yoke. I have to carry my side with Grace, Honor, Truth & His Love.
There is no man on the other end of this thing. You see, oxen are hard to come by. Right now God is on my left. He’s unyielding in his attempts to get me going the right way. I struggle sometimes to pull away. I slack off in my teamwork. Sometimes I’m so lazy; I just stop all-together. But he gently calls me forward. He’s been a good partner. The best I’ve ever teamed with so far. I know I’m not worthy to walk with him. He’s definitely stronger, wiser, and more consistent, but He’s so encouraging. I stumble often, but he never laughs. He never reminds me of my shortcomings. He simply picks me up and we keep moving.
Press on ladies!