Now this could be vain of me but in my mind, all good ideas I have come out in due time. Here I am trying to birth out any/everything, feeling like my thoughts are spilling and overflowing and there’s no time give each of them the thinking-power they deserve. I’m thinking to help this outpour of thoughts, I should start by writing more. Physically sitting down and putting pen (or pencil) to pad and getting it all out. Face it—If I never get published, all that I’ll leave behind are a few little people (hopefully, if I ever get married anyway) who will mis-quote my instructions!! LOL! And as of late, I’m pretty worried about that. The legacy I’ll leave behind. The instructions I give. I mean,—who am I to give instruction?
A while back I took my lil ace (Jeremiah, of course) the park to play. He’s a typical little boy, so no matter how infrequent we are about giving him his free-range playtime, when he gets the opportunity to go to the park, this playtime is CRUCIAL. So, I simply stand back and let him have at it! As the adult, I’m making sure that he’s being friendly, playing safe and having fun. But this Saturday, he inquisitively starts over towards two dinosaurs figures near the kiddie area. They’re kinda cool. I put them in the position of the prehistoric characters that statutely guard the park at night!! (or at least in my imagination, that’s what they do!! 🙂 ) So as he climbs on the back of the stoutly, portlier one, little eyes look up at me and he says:
“Krystal—whats this”?
“Thats a rhinocerous”, I answer.
Not so confidently or arrogantly, but as –a-matter-of-factly. More half-minded than anything anyway! He asks questions all the time. So I’m used to being consistent with responses. I’d prefer for him to have an inquisitive mind, than not to, so I’ve got to do my part to feed that nature he’s developing. I never shut him down because I’ve learned that questions are powerful. Desire for knowledge is powerful. (But as a two year old, YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW EASY IS FOR HE AND I TO HAVE A 15 MIN CONVERSATION WITH ME DOING ALL THE TALKING AND HIM SIMPLY REPONDING “Well, Why?” to everything I say!! 🙂 ***If you’re not a parent, you may not understand the patience required in having these “Why-response sessions” every 20 minutes or so!!! It wears you out! [POST ON THIS ONE LATER! 🙂 ]
Anyway, Jeremiah the 2 year old, with a two year old’s attention span, simply says “oh” and got down and ran over to it’s neighbor, the Brontosaurus. He’s climbing away. Not a half second later, another little person ran around the same two statues—There are kids everywhere. But this guy, not even really seeing me– [b/c all adults look like hazy pictures of familiarity when you’re full-out playing], but having heard my response to Jeremiah’s inquisition—runs around me to get to the slides on the next play structure. As he’s running he shouts out:
“Rhinocerous?…No, that’s a Triceratops” And he simply keeps it moving. It was an afterthought for him- Because when I look up, he’s not concerned with whether I heard him, but his focus is on running around, playing a new version of western gunslaying in which cowboys get the chance to shoot everybody, not just the bad guys! 🙂
“T-R-I-C-E-R-A-T-O-P-S”… I whisper under my breath. And turn to look at the green, plastic husky-looking statue—Yeah, it’s a triceratops.
Now, Jeremiah at this point, in the span of about 15 seconds since giving him my answer, however incorrect unbeknownst to him, has moved on to the slides again—no doubt not giving my response to his question a second thought, as any trusting 2 year old would be. But, I on the other hand, am quite upset.
How could I not know that was a triceratops? The other guy was a brontosaurus (brachiosaurus), right?… You know, the ever-popular vegetarians that always look so friendly since we know they eat anything other than PEOPLE!!) I remember the T-Rex (short, tiny arms, gnashing teeth.. these are man-eaters for sure!) Let’s see, there’s the Pterodactyl (beak-bearing flyer that “screams”), and the Stegosaurus (he has the boney plates, right?) um, I guess that’s all I’ve got as far as prehistory is concerned.
But even if I didn’t know a thing about the rulers of the earth 200 million years ago–on the flipside—I DO ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHAT A RHINOCEROUS IS! I’ve seen one—in real life. Not just in variating pictures from libraries, textbooks, or videos, but a random trip to Lucky-5 Ranch gave me the opportunity to meet Luther, the most well-endowed Rhino I’ve ever seen!! J And since I’ve seen a rhinoceros rather upclose and personal—I must admit, that they don’t even look like this green scaled-down kid-friendly version of the actual Jurassic beast.
What am I doing here? Not just serving as the information/knowledge source for this little person, but seriously? How/Why should I be trusted with his life, his protection, his security, his livelihood—When I clearly don’t have the basic knowledge that a seven-year old has? I went through that lesson in dinosaurs in elementary school. Probably a couple times over, at that. I saw the Land Before Time I and II. Even Jurassic Park as well. But at 10AM on a Saturday morning, early April, I gave a 2 year old an incorrect answer and was absent-mindedly corrected by a seven-year old. He didn’t even really see me! He saw “an adult”… and in the midst of playing in the park, he figured, he’d help the poor old fogy out! LOL! He wasn’t purposely trying to say that I was wrong. But he was simply saying what the correct answer should have been. His focus and attention was on playing and having fun. So here I am, grown as can be.. thinking yeah, I know things.. but had to be taught what a triceratops was! I was, and still am, disappointed by the thought.
As in any of my Krystal revelations, I got to thinking about me! How can I get better. I can’t properly be a resource to anybody if I have no idea what I’m talking about. Many of us know that we know that we know something.. anything.. but what if we were wrong? What if 60% of our “knowledge” was somehow skewed by our personal experiences, or lack thereof. I don’t know how much mis-info I could have given throughout the years, that would be difficult to somehow quantify. But what if everything I’ve said, every response I’ve given.. was “close, but not correct”. What if I’d left out the most-important part of any question I’ve responded to for the last 26 years? How irresponsible and negligent is that? How could that ever be okay. The power and influence I could have, now negated by my own lack of surety and conviction.
I am reminded that as a person I have a brain—it exists, this is definite. But it’s up to me to regulate, maintain, and be accountable for the mind that I’ve been given! As a Christian, I believe that I was created to honor and serve God. He’s created me for a specific purpose, TO-DO-Something. At this point, I know that purpose isn’t teaching dinosaur lessons to 3rd graders, but while I’m still on the road to figuring it out, why am I not seasoning my mind?
I should be constantly pushing it to it’s limits. They say a major part of brain fitness isn’t just in what you eat as you get older, but also challenging your mind by learning new things (taking a class, doing a project), practicing what you already know (ie: math skills, creative skills, etc) and testing your mind by working on challenging puzzles like SODUKO AND SCRABBLE. How much knowledge have I been introduced to and later lost because I wasn’t asked the question that tested my remembrance of it? And how much misinformation have I given without there being a 7 year old around to say—NO, That’s a Triceratops! Is this mis-information costing me or someone else? (There really shouldn’t have to be a seven-year-old standing by. My mind, at 26-almost-27, should be a fountain of information. A plethora of knowledge.
Wonder why school doesn’t last for life? Why does college/grad school/doctorates have to be the limit? In all of that degree-getting, I still have no idea what a triceratops is? This is ridiculous. An embarrassment. I used to think: I know things, but clearly, I don’t. There’s always more-to-know! More to read! More to Understand. Where have I been for 26 years? What exactly have I been doing? Because I clearly haven’t been learning.
Okay, so I’m thinking that’s going to be on my to-do-list for the year. The #1 thing on my birthday bucket list for this year, and really probably every year after this. The goal is to LEARN. And at this point, I might as well start with a lesson in dinosaurs!!! **As a reminder that I should keep learning, I bought a vintage dino necklace (pic below)!! Took me a while to find it, but I love it!!
- The wonderful Ebay find!
Before I have kids—I’d like to think that I’d know more than they do. And as selfish and arrogant as it may seem—I’d hate to ever, ever lose that position. Being a Knowledgeable Mom is a title that I humbly want to keep. Since I’m sitting here at my desk I’m also wondering if I should commit to journaling everyday? Aside from reading my bible daily (which I’m working on mind you) I’d like to see how I’d do. Sometimes I think –journaling is only good if you’re on your way to something. Who wants to read a journal about mediocrity? I am probably the most mediocre person I know. I rarely shoot from the hip, and yet sometimes I still miss my mark. Either way, I’ve bitten off something meaty. The challenge is to get back to school dayz where every day you read a book.. every week you took a test. Examinations were frequent. And you knew you had to prove yourself. Now, I work every day. And the only “test” is annual review time/promotion time.. The only challenge is making sure I’ve completed my work by deadline. But this goal is personal. This isn’t about a better salary, its not about clout, favoritism, or even grades… this is about ME! And I’ll be darned if I kill my own confidence by being one of the un-awares. I must do better! I know too many 2 year olds not to!
***btw, my darling sister bought me a picture book on dinosaurs for Christmas!! LOL! She was trying to be funny, but I have learned a lot from it!
*******************please note the pictures below!! EVEN THE AUTHORS OF THE BOOK CAN UNDERSTAND HOW I’D MISTAKE THE TWO!! lol! #IJUSTLOVELEARNING!!
~Keep Smiling!
Eve Unyoked 