The Contradiction (His&Hers)

(PLEASE RESPECT THE WRITER BY GIVING DUE CREDIT)

Thank you! 🙂

We all know what it means to walk and live by example. What happens when you say one thing, but you’re doing another? I’m not a church girl perse` but I found myself in a club one night, bored out of my mind thinking: the man of my dreams, won’t find me here… and if he does, he may be disappointed that this is where he found me! In the words of Alison Parson… “let’s be what you are looking for”.

The Contradiction (His & Hers)

by Krystal D. Tarte 2012

(from a guy’s perspective, so i don’t know how accurate it is…please, please let me know)

I beg your pardon—

Yes, please miss, excuse me

But last Sunday, around 11am, did I just see you

at New Bethel Holiness Pentecostal AME?

.

Yeah religion can be what you make it

and “new Christians” know Jesus Christ will always hold you down

But do they mean that you can still club

Thurs/Fridays/and Saturdays at every spot in town?

.

I saw you on the YWI—and helping out with the little Sunbeams

Now you poppin and rockin in stilettos

I’m watchin, sippin Crown thinking:

AInt God Good? Oh my Lord she Mean!

.

I always thought you were fine

In Sunday night class checking for a wife

But truth be told:I aint ready to settle

and you aint either-all that game I saw in da club tonight.

.

Young, Fine and flashy

I’m checking swag when you hit the door.

Didn’t recognize till you looked up in my face

after you’d dropped that azz to the floor.

.

I said dag—dats why she pulling me in

she go to New Bethel over on 21st and 10th

That same Sunday, I rededicated

and went to the alter, she was the one who ushered me in!

.

In the church you speak in tongues

Amens & Halleluiahs be right on time

but I’m guessing that cocktail cup you carrying ‘round now

don’t know nuthin’ about communion wine!

.

Sunday you all prim & proper

walk in—Bible clutched tight to your chest

But what you rockin right now?

with breasts and tail all out, I mean should I even call that a dress?

.

I was amazed by how smart you were.

Knew every scripture to recommend to keep me going strong

Now tonight the Lil wayne, Webbie & Boosie the DJ spinning

you yelling out “That’s my song!”

.

I mean, I just got saved and joined the church

so who am I to judge you-

Its just I thought you were a good girl

when Class Leader Brown introduced us two.

.

I’m used to seeing your Sunday best

or in usher uniforms (those white stockings w/ugly nursing shoes)

But when you walked pass w/ your legs all out

I’m thinking: she straight killing those Jimmy Choos.

.

Whoa Ma—you’re doing too much

Those shots of Patròn got you trashed and inebriated

But scripture says wine in excess makes one a fool—

I know you remember that from the book of Isaiah.

.

All the missionaries call you “chile”

they think you’re sweet as pie

But do they know you’ve got a tat of cherries on your left breast

and paw prints climbing high on your right thigh?

.

Now I’m not tryna be a freak

or considered a Tom that peeps,

but when you fell out on the dance floor, no panties on

I’m thinking: Now where’s the ladies to come cover

                  you with those long, cotton, white sheets?

.

Its crazy packed in here tonight

and I wasn’t planning on staying out late

Its almost 2am, I figure

Lemme scoop me up a sure thing.

.

I was peeping you all night

wasn’t sure how many drinks you’d had

but when I stepped to you, ur slurred speech

had me thinking: This pussy is in the bag!

.

I usually don’t do wasted chicks

gotta learn to hold your liquor, I say

but I guess you’re not typically a hard drinker

since you usually have church the next day.

.

I never professed to be a saint

I’d fallen short a couple times and really needed help

I don’t know about giving Christ my entire life.

but you know, [smiling jokingly] a brother has to make the first step.

.

Tonight I’m about to grab this piece

and tomorrow we’ll both repent–

You think we should drive my car? Head to your place?

Naw she pissy drunk, we’ll do this quick!

.

Tonight was one for the records

I ‘m so glad I told dude I’d check out this club uptown

I wonder if you’ll be back next Saturday night?

If so, I know It’s going DOWN!

.

Fixing up your clothes

you jumped out of my backseat

Too glad I decided to park in the corner lot

with my spacious SUV.

.

I’m smiling , she was cool

got a lil messy b/c that liquor had her gone

I guess tomorrow morning I’ll see how she fares

when we stand to the choir’s opening song.

.

Shoot, church starts in a few hours

I’m thnking waffle house might have to wait

I should probably catch a few hours of sleep

tryna recoup from my late-night-smash date!

.

Dog, I must be tripping…

I should have asked ol girl her name

man, she was drunk enough to let me hit,

Didn’t have to put in work or spit no game.

Shocked me how loud she was,

how much she moaned,

and how she bucked and jerked when she came.

.

They say freaks come out at night.

And they aint never lie

I’m bout to keep scoping out these church girls

to see how many live double lives.

.

She isn’t the one I’d marry,

though I hope she even remembers me

she was really drunk and she probably won’t

I’ll just wait, when I get to church, I’ll see!

.

That chick straight wore me out

4am, I’m ready to hit the sheets.

Glad I could knock It down, bust one up

I already know bout to I’m get me some good sleep.

.

Little miss Priss in worship service…

who knew that she was such a freak

Hmm, I wonder if she’ll give me her number anyway

when she gives me my church bulletin and leads me to my seat?

— Krystal D. Tarte 2012