The Contradiction (His&Hers)

Thank you! 🙂
We all know what it means to walk and live by example. What happens when you say one thing, but you’re doing another? I’m not a church girl perse` but I found myself in a club one night, bored out of my mind thinking: the man of my dreams, won’t find me here… and if he does, he may be disappointed that this is where he found me! In the words of Alison Parson… “let’s be what you are looking for”.
The Contradiction (His & Hers)
by Krystal D. Tarte 2012
(from a guy’s perspective, so i don’t know how accurate it is…please, please let me know)
I beg your pardon—
Yes, please miss, excuse me
But last Sunday, around 11am, did I just see you
at New Bethel Holiness Pentecostal AME?
Yeah religion can be what you make it
and “new Christians” know Jesus Christ will always hold you down
But do they mean that you can still club
Thurs/Fridays/and Saturdays at every spot in town?
I saw you on the YWI—and helping out with the little Sunbeams
Now you poppin and rockin in stilettos
I’m watchin, sippin Crown thinking:
AInt God Good? Oh my Lord she Mean!
I always thought you were fine
In Sunday night class checking for a wife
But truth be told:I aint ready to settle
and you aint either-all that game I saw in da club tonight.
Young, Fine and flashy
I’m checking swag when you hit the door.
Didn’t recognize till you looked up in my face
after you’d dropped that azz to the floor.
I said dag—dats why she pulling me in
she go to New Bethel over on 21st and 10th
That same Sunday, I rededicated
and went to the alter, she was the one who ushered me in!
In the church you speak in tongues
Amens & Halleluiahs be right on time
but I’m guessing that cocktail cup you carrying ‘round now
don’t know nuthin’ about communion wine!
Sunday you all prim & proper
walk in—Bible clutched tight to your chest
But what you rockin right now?
with breasts and tail all out, I mean should I even call that a dress?
I was amazed by how smart you were.
Knew every scripture to recommend to keep me going strong
Now tonight the Lil wayne, Webbie & Boosie the DJ spinning
you yelling out “That’s my song!”
I mean, I just got saved and joined the church
so who am I to judge you-
Its just I thought you were a good girl
when Class Leader Brown introduced us two.
I’m used to seeing your Sunday best
or in usher uniforms (those white stockings w/ugly nursing shoes)
But when you walked pass w/ your legs all out
I’m thinking: she straight killing those Jimmy Choos.
Whoa Ma—you’re doing too much
Those shots of Patròn got you trashed and inebriated
But scripture says wine in excess makes one a fool—
I know you remember that from the book of Isaiah.
All the missionaries call you “chile”
they think you’re sweet as pie
But do they know you’ve got a tat of cherries on your left breast
and paw prints climbing high on your right thigh?
Now I’m not tryna be a freak
or considered a Tom that peeps,
but when you fell out on the dance floor, no panties on
I’m thinking: Now where’s the ladies to come cover
                  you with those long, cotton, white sheets?
Its crazy packed in here tonight
and I wasn’t planning on staying out late
Its almost 2am, I figure
Lemme scoop me up a sure thing.
I was peeping you all night
wasn’t sure how many drinks you’d had
but when I stepped to you, ur slurred speech
had me thinking: This pussy is in the bag!
I usually don’t do wasted chicks
gotta learn to hold your liquor, I say
but I guess you’re not typically a hard drinker
since you usually have church the next day.
I never professed to be a saint
I’d fallen short a couple times and really needed help
I don’t know about giving Christ my entire life.
but you know, [smiling jokingly] a brother has to make the first step.
Tonight I’m about to grab this piece
and tomorrow we’ll both repent–
You think we should drive my car? Head to your place?
Naw she pissy drunk, we’ll do this quick!
Tonight was one for the records
I ‘m so glad I told dude I’d check out this club uptown
I wonder if you’ll be back next Saturday night?
If so, I know It’s going DOWN!
Fixing up your clothes
you jumped out of my backseat
Too glad I decided to park in the corner lot
with my spacious SUV.
I’m smiling , she was cool
got a lil messy b/c that liquor had her gone
I guess tomorrow morning I’ll see how she fares
when we stand to the choir’s opening song.
Shoot, church starts in a few hours
I’m thnking waffle house might have to wait
I should probably catch a few hours of sleep
tryna recoup from my late-night-smash date!
Dog, I must be tripping…
I should have asked ol girl her name
man, she was drunk enough to let me hit,
Didn’t have to put in work or spit no game.
Shocked me how loud she was,
how much she moaned,
and how she bucked and jerked when she came.
They say freaks come out at night.
And they aint never lie
I’m bout to keep scoping out these church girls
to see how many live double lives.
She isn’t the one I’d marry,
though I hope she even remembers me
she was really drunk and she probably won’t
I’ll just wait, when I get to church, I’ll see!
That chick straight wore me out
4am, I’m ready to hit the sheets.
Glad I could knock It down, bust one up
I already know bout to I’m get me some good sleep.
Little miss Priss in worship service…
who knew that she was such a freak
Hmm, I wonder if she’ll give me her number anyway
when she gives me my church bulletin and leads me to my seat?
— Krystal D. Tarte 2012


  1. Wow…I’m speechless like really Krystal. I had the conversation with my pastor about being young and saved, and he told me that its okay to go out to social events or hang out with friends. When Christ is in you, there should be something about you that stands out and you can be picked from a crowd. Simply saying taht you should not be so entingled in what is been done that someone can’t separate you from the regulars. I myself can say that yes I do go out occasionally, and after reading this I wonder if some of this applies to me?

  2. ***** conversation going down on FACEBOOK! but I’d love comments here as well! If you know me, by all means, send me a fb friend request AND follow the blog!!! ******************
    Thank you bunches!!

  3. I’m so friggin’ speechless about this blog. 1. B/c I’ve found myself in this same situation. 2. My status went hand and hand with this. Your play on words man…i LOVE THIS! I think everybody need to read this. Mind if I let one of my friends see this?

    1. no ma’am.. that was the intent… i want you to share it so that it reaches who its supposed to… the “Share link” works on FB or you can send them directly to my blog space.. either way, I’m appreciative. Thanks so much for reading!!

  4. This is an interesting read. This def happens! I have seen some interesting things/people in clubs and other social gatherings. Sometimes I think people live by expectations….esp church goers. As the son of a minister, I understand some of those expectations. Its natural to sometimes fall into the atmosphere of one’s surroundings. However, I do think one should know when to draw the line! lol. I personally do not expect to meet “my wife” in “the club.” But I do think as a Christian man, I can def enjoy myself within a respectful way in a “wordly” (as the older folks say) club-type atmosphere. All in all, an African American, well shaped, friendly, educated, bi-lingual, well traveled, Christian woman is a woman before she is anything else. So we all fall short in a sense, but I’d be wary of the lady who rededicates her life every Sunday anyway! lol. So my charge would be, as a Christian are we doing our job when we see our church member, our co worker, our neighbor, our brother, our sister in the club doing these things why are we not pulling them aside in the club or after service to advise, pray w/, counsel them……instead of watching and analyzing???

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